#236 ; Prince? Princess?

Love really doesn't matter at all when you know that you two can't live without each other. 

Despite how bad times maybe, there is always something to actually stick you two together. You may hate him/her for as much as you want, but in the end you realize you love him/her as much as you hate him/her. Mixed feelings are definitely in and out. It's just a matter of how much love are you willing to give it all out. I can't define love as well as many people can. I faced different types of love and probably that makes me want to cherish whatever love I can give to important people.

I am attached to my beloved Bboy♥. Ya he's a total control freak but somehow somewhere in me knows despite the fact he is a control freak, he still loves me more than words can be seen. But one thing is for sure, I have a love/hate relationship towards him. When he is being a total arsehole, I swear I can rip off his head and fucking hate his very existence. But when he is being a total sweetheart, I swear he is the sweetest boyfriend I can ever have. In fact, I tried asking myself. What is my feelings towards him? Reliance or love? Well, maybe its both, maybe its neither. What really matters most is still, we love each other and together we can build a future together hand in hand. I have been together with that Bboy♥ for coming to 5 years. We have been through nuts together and we are still together. We might not go all PDA in public, all cheesy wooly in public, all kissy handsy in public but I know he loves me. Words like I love you doesn't come easily like a man from him. In fact, to hear them is golden words. He doesn't call me sweet cutesy names , yet he just known me as girl. Whenever he call me girl, love love or anything cheesy, I know I am head over heels to this man again. I did try grumbling about how two headed he can get. He's like a thermometer to me, he can get all grumpy, crazy and next, he can be all loving, sweetness. Well, I don't know what the future lays in us but I know I want to be the best for both of us. I want to be awesome, the best wife he ever got in his lifetime. We don't choose who we want to be, we simply just be linked to one that connects to us in a way that we can't imagine. Bboy♥ doesn't attract me as much as how I used to fall in love so easily. Is just that there is this imaginary line between us that made us together. I have to actually thank this Bboy♥ for showing me a different type of love. I always thought that I have been paving way for my future with my ex. When I finally believe, we have a future together. We ended. Nothing works. So probably Bboy♥ shows me I am worth fighting for, worth being his happily ever after. I am confirmed that we will definitely fight for all this piece of shit in the world, but I really hope nothing can break us apart.

Well, I know it's hard to say but to be frank, we have gone through so much shits in our life. From family accusing him of stealing, from his mom going all bonkers and hysterical over the husband, from horrible words from everywhere, we are still back as one. Probably he doesn't trust me like how I trust him, but I do know one day he might just turn out to be different. If not, I will simply love him the way I always do and love my close friends. I do not require a dozen of friends, just a handful will do. Because close friends are those you can keep in your life. Well, I may hate his ways sometimes but hating doesn't solve issues. Cos I know being together in Bboy♥, the rule is to comply to him. Ya, he's a dominant, I am a submissive. Despite how fucked up his character can be sometimes, I find that he do listens to mine but always showing to me in a different way. Weird, isn't he? My Bboy♥ isn't a man with words or actions. When he does, you see nothing. When he doesn't, you see even nothing. Probably he is one nutcrack that is different from many I known. I can't be that 100% of honesty with him b'coz his jealous level is way higher than anyone I know. But frankly, I am honest with almost all. But there is simply a level of not-so-honest in us as well. Like how he loved to hide things from me. Bboy♥ and I are a pair of couple probably growing up each day. Because there are certain things I like which he don't and otherwise. Well, probably my whole love relationship with Bboy♥ is like that. Well, this is probably how the world between me and him is right now. No one has a perfect relationship so I appreciate all the happiness we have together. As long as he loves me and I love him, that's all it matters.

Everyone has a love story. Just what kind of story it is. If really not meant to be, eventually we will have to say goodbye. Most importantly, make sure you have no regrets in the relationship you have been into. Oh well, no one is perfect. We only have to kiss a lot of frogs before we can find our Prince/Princess. Some maybe lucky to just kiss one Prince and that's their forever ever after. Others may not. So it's all about the thread, when is it going to hook on your forever ever after.