#130 ; Grateful

For the grateful-ness I have for you and your family.
I am very grateful for the very existence of my Aunt and her family. Really. I have been staying over my Aunt's house for the past two days since Sunday. It's really comforting to have 'family' being there for you and hearing things you know it's likely impossible to hear from. I am so thankful for her being there. As I get older, probably the one who can change my mind a lot is her and her family. I don't know what words can I use to describe the grateful feeling I have for her. It's just so comforting to know people are loving you despite your parents don't give a shit about things. Well, I guess this is how life does sometimes. Oh well. My family issues have been for years but the relationship I have with my Aunt has been closer than ever. Though we may hardly speak but it's her emotions, words that taught me I can be stronger. I can be a big girl. That's one thing I am so thankful of. Well, it's heartwarming to see their family so happy and most importantly, united. Not many family can be genuinely happy with each other without having motives and everything. Well, I used to love the word family cos it always meant something to me but deep down, I no longer love it as much as I do but I know my family will truly be loved by me. I can't stand the part of seeing family breaking apart. I don't want a history of my family to be passed down in my future generation. Once is enough. I am afraid but I am telling myself, don't think about the future cos no one knows what will happen. That's why right now I am a person who is going to be thankful for everything in my life. So I won't have any grumbles. But still, thank you a million and one times for their existence. My aunt taught me how to be a better person. I don't blame her for taking me back , I don't want to have any regrets in my life anymore. Used to think how life sucks cos I stayed at home instead. All the bullshit like crazy! So I moved on, looked forward, so I rather be a happier girl compared to a depressing one. That's life, I don't know how many times I just wanna end it off. But things changed, my mind changed as well. No longer wanna be that retarded girl, no longer wanna be someone my family looks down upon. I want to create a better future. Honestly, without the people there for me I think I would have been broken down. Guess this is life.

Once again,
I am very grateful to my Aunt & her family. 

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