#30 ; I don't understand
Simple love, yet so complicated to understand.
I don't understand love, really. Despite being attached for almost four years, I have to admit that I still don't understand love. But I know I have a love / hate relationship with my Bboy♥. I can love him a lot and hate him a lot at the same time. When he loves me, he really does. He buy me random gifts and he is so sweet to me, making me happy unknowingly. But when we quarrel, when we have arguments, I hate him to the core. Cos when he start to demoralize me, and everything, I hate him to the max. But when he loves me, he buys me gift out of the blue, gentle kisses on the cheeks and things that what a boyfriend should treat a girlfriend. Been together for almost four years, maybe out of ten I know him up to eight. The way he speak, the way he dress, the way he talk, all the mini things I understand him. Other than that like what is he really thinking, I don't know. Been together for quite awhile, I have to admit I love him a lot. But sometimes it's just certain things of him. Well, I supposed everyone also have ups and downs in their relationship. In love, when we hold hands, love, etc, it's the best thing ever. But when you quarrel with your other half, it feels like the end of the world. Cos when we quarrel, you don't know if the whole relationship might crumble or not. How realistic is the life. Love has so many definitions, so hard to express and understand. Just have to love and be loved. That's how it works. I can't proclaim how good I am in a relationship. Maybe my goods can be seen in him but he just denies it? No one knows what's on the other side of everyone's mind. It applies to love as well. You have no clues what this person think you really are. H/She can love you to the max but does h/she really love you and you're the only one meant to be? I once encountered a pair of couple, no longer anymore. The guy told me, the girl is one that can date but cannot be the one to married. I did wonder, why begin when you think she ain't the one you can stick forever with? Love is very irony, you can love hard and cry hard, you can love easy and cry hard and no matter how you twist and turn. Definitely, you will have to cry once in your relationship and love the most out of your life. Interesting, uh? Between me and my Bboy♥, we have been the best and the worst at the same time. Behind closed doors, relationship can be up and down. We can quarrel real bad and no one knows. We can love real bad and no one knows either. I enjoyed people seeing our relationship is, but there is one thing I can never get over with. My Bboy♥'s mouth and attitude. That's one thing that I wish he can nicer, sweeter, cuter. His mouth ain't sweet at all. It can be stabs / light stabs, it can never be sweet. Cos his mouth is grown up by people who doesn't praise, say nice things and that's why he become who he is. People ask me why I love my Bboy♥ so much despite all the shit. Cos I see the 'good' in him and I believe one day, we will love each other more. Probably that meaning. We begin cos we want to try see if we are suitable for a forever. Be it works or not, at the end at least I loved a man like this before. Not being cheesy with words, just facing reality. Who knows tomorrow we might quarrel? Who knows tomorrow we might hug each other closely? Who knows? No one knows. That's why I say I don't understand relationship that well either. Interesting topic, many things to see. Hard to begin.
