#483 ; Grow up!

I need to improve myself to be better. I have to work harder to gain people's trust. I have to ask instead of instructing. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. I have to stop thinking I am being replaced. I have to start changing myself. I have to show people I am worthy. I have to stop being nice to people. I have to be different. I have to not be the same girl I used to be. I have to show that I am capable for people's trust. I have to do things with a brain. I have to learn to be independent. I have to not trust people too easily. I have to know that being alone is nothing. I have to focus. I have to know that everything is aiming. I have to stop being distracted. I have to do my best in everything. I have to stop being so careless. I have to know that God is always there for me. I have to step out of my own darkness. I have to secure my job. I have to be strong and firm. I have to be a better me.

Many things happened lately. But I guess, I messed with the wrong people. But by messing with the wrong people, I learnt from my mistakes. I grow from there. Desmond has been there, most of it. But I know I am fighting my darkness, I have to be stronger than what's coming. Every day is a different lesson for me. It's about me applying what I can into the stack of darkness. I am not young anymore. Jobs aren't all out there, I just have to be strong, be firm, be careful, be tactful, be wary. I have to ask people, not instruct people. Many things. Really many things. Apart from my work, even my shop.com, I have to work even harder. I have to show myself I can do things. I have to stop stop stop feeling sorry for myself. No one give a fuck if I am a good / kind person. As long as the work is shit, you are shit. You are deemed as shit. I am thankful that God is there. His words rang into my ears. I know it's wrong to find him when I am all depressed and down. But I know He's watching out for me. This is an obstacle, I have to fight and be better the next day. I won't hate anyone, I will be better. I will grow from all the stupid things I have caused. Be firm, be better, be awesome! Otherwise, I will suffer all over again. Instead of worrying there is nothing, start doing things to improve to show you can work, you can be better, you can be strong. Work is endless. Just keep doing everything in your capability. 

I will be better, I will be stronger! I will ask anything I am unsure. I will inform. I will not be stupid. I will not be distracted. Everything is aiming. Everything is a learning experience.

Popular posts from this blog

#91 ; Eustacia Tang

Image
I should have blogged this since I don't know when. But I guess today I simply just have the " feel " to post this. How should I put it? It's abit difficult but still , I wanna express her existence in my life . Not the best yet just nice. I think I mention before in one of my post about goodbyes are so painful. But still, it's also another beginning of a hello. Right? It has been 1 or 2 months since she left but still, having her in my life is happy enough. For I've learnt so many things. Though it's unbearable but this is how reality works. Isn't it? Though it's hard to get over the miserable feeling but I am kinda fine already. Happy me ~ So therefore, I am fine. Fret not. Thank you for teaching me about baking and life , ♥ P/S; I get to see Eustacia today! :D
Read more

#48 ; Pokemon

Image
Pokémon has grown up with me. It has been more than 10 over years since Pokémon appeared on TV. Well, probably you can guess that I am going to blog about Pokémon . I do remember watching them on TV to my dad, me and my brother playing the games to me stopped watching. Seasons after seasons, movies after movies. I find it's really amazing that Pokémon has come such a long journey. Was at weheartit finding cute Pokémon pictures. A lot triggered my memories. Those good old days , where Pokémon is the highlight. Awesome-ness! Well, I still remember Ian give me a Sunflora card and I love it like nobody's business. Ian give me the best memories for a girl like me. Have to admit, probably he's a player . A very pro one, catching my heart and left me so in love for a long time. Well, I loved Squirtle the most. Can any of you remember that cute cute blue tortoise ? That's the kawaii Squirtle ^w^ H3h3h3, that's my favorite whenever I played those Gameboy! I also re...
Read more

#79 ; Cheating

Image
Cheating.  Today I had one of the weirdest dream ever. I hate that dream, I have to admit & right now I am telling myself it's just a dream . Nothing real but that feeling is so uncomfortable. So bullshit manzxc. Yuppie, it's about cheating . I believe my Bboy♥ but the dream is just so clear in my fucking head. Not my fault for thinking about it, it just happen. Am I thinking too much, literally? Oh manzxc. Here goes my dream.. I dreamt of my Bboy♥ cheating behind me. I actually dreamt of who's that girl and me making friends with the girl. Can you believe that?! It all felt like Danielle-Faith-Jordan's drama again. I don't know how the fuq I know the girl but the girl seemed to be a friend. She was talking to me so happily over her new boyfriend. Yeah I was happy for her. So she showed me photo. Then I was like " Dafuq?! It's my boyfriend?! ". As in, I didn't say that. It was my mind then she was so happy, blissfully telling me her...
Read more