#393 ; Shitty feeling

Is it because menses is coming, I am feeling this way?
Is it because my skin having some strange rashes, I am feeling this way?
Is it because Desmond seemed to be hiding a lot of things from me, I am feeling this way?
Is it because I am feeling neglected, I am feeling this way?
Is it because all of a sudden I feel unloved, I am feeling this way?
Is it because I am heading some love songs, I am feeling this way?

 I can't even begin how to describe this feeling. Is definitely emo. But is it emo-emo? Or what, I am unsure? I can't seemed to figure out what's the course. I am not happy since today? Okay, maybe menses is coming. That is maybe the prime course. Or maybe not menses coming. Maybe because I feel like having a break, resting for the entire day. It's been awhile since I sleep! I want to sleep. Yes, hell yeah. I feel the body breaking down once in awhile. Yeah, it will fade but when it is still in the process, I am feeling the crappy-ness. Not funny at all. Because the post fading, I have to face all this crap feeling. I like the pre feeling. Because I am always happy that way. Blasting some awesome love songs, so my body is kinda relaxed and feeling the shitty feeling. LOL. It isn't really helping me at all. I am being honest. Well, I ain't the best to express feeling but I think my face don't hide. My face say it all, so I don't hide whatever is on my face. Is always the emotions part I can't seemed to shake it off.

That's another thing you all know about me now. I need to get it over with or else I will doomed for the next few days. Oh yes, I am thinking of all sorts 365 feeling. Hmm, I have to learn a way to conquer this. No retail therapy cos that doesn't help at all. In fact, I know one but also have to spend money. It's none other than eating. I can eat a lot if I want to. But I know I can't do that, I will be all fat, all ugly later. So I am resisting all urge to be fat. In fact, maybe I will buy myself an expensive drink. That always cheer me up despite it's soo expensive. But Starbucks, Coffee Bean etc always do the trick. I should bring Blackie there and just read and just rot and just kill my time. Right? Okay, I whine enough. I am going off to work.

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