#388 ; Sharing?

So we fight but I rationalize my thought. Good? I think so.
We have many problems but I want to address our problems rather than running away from it. We are old enough and I don't want to play my stubborn games. No tears from me, just something I think its best to release from my heart. I hope you and I can address them than fighting and arguing like two idiots.

1) we are like two idiots not sharing shit. You isolate yourself, I felt the distance. Both of us stuck in our world. You think I talk alot to Ms Poh but I don't. Cos its always work related. Moreover, she talk cock sing song and its just a temporary drug. I think you hiding things from me so I rather stuck in my shows, tablet etc.

2) you flare in public, you don't give a shit. I flare in public, you give a shit. So you are the only one who feel embarrassed but I don't. I don't want to flare at you but your face always say it all so I declare we are two idiots doing things we hate. We should work this out, shouldn't we?

3) You have a dozens of things in your mind yet I am NEVER a part of it. Who am I in your eyes??? Ya I am an idiot a noob a shit that knows nothing. But ain't I trying? I control my temper over your hse. Your mom unhappy over all things, etc?? Ya you say its none of my business. So I shut the fuck up. How about letting me inside? Share your fuck burdens with me. Is that a problem?! So what I got so much money? You control it and you don't share your plans?! So who am I? Why am I always the last to know shit? Cos I stupid? Or what. Tell me.

4) You hate my family. Ya I know?! I chose YOU over my family since the day I 翻脸with them. Hey dude , you got a family but I don't. I got only you and you won't even let me know what's on your mind? Like I say, since Toh family is going to stay with me. Am I still going to be the last idiot to know anything at all? My house is a problem. Want me to rid myself of them? I can do it for YOU if you say so.

5) Jealous. Ya I am a jealous person. Who isn't?! I am jealous + stubborn. I am upset your folks eat Itacho, not me. I hate it when you make all those words saying about bringing me to TCC, to Itacho, to all the every places. Yet you only say. Making me going all gaga yet in the end, THEY are only say. Well, so I am upset but what to do? money again. Right? You know the urge of slamming $10K and tell you, for fuck sake. Date me. Bring me out. Buy me things. Helloo... I need me time, just me and you doing what usual couples do. At least the $10K I give you, you make me happy and pamper me. Hello... I am a girl. Ya I save scrimp stingy but I also want love.

Ok talk about me. I suck, ok. I know. But PLEASE understand I want to be in your Toh's world. Ya your mom anyhow spend, you think idk? Ya your dad smokes might have negativity, you think idk? All I need is you to just let me in. Ya I know nuts compared to you but I am doing my part as a girlfriend, future wife, future daughter in law. We are in this together. You going alone just makes me rather be in my world than join you. I want you, you to know that I am ALWAYS here. You shut me out, I will not be around too. Please. Lastly I love you despite how fucked up we are.

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